GERMANY: A RECEPTION, NEW (OLD) COUSINS, AND A STOLPERSTEIN CEREMONY

May 23, 2025

One of the few buildings that was restored after the February 25, 1945, bombing was the Old Town Hall. It was originally built in 1911-1912 in the Art Nouveau style but was burned out in the air raid. It was repaired and expanded in 1999-2001. A plaque on the wall states, "As a lasting reminder, the Old Town Hall commemorates the destruction of old Pforzheim." 

This is the building where there was a reception for the Stolpersteine families that we--and the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of our grandfather and his first wife--had been been invited to attend. We had known our grandfather was married before he was married to our grandmother, but we knew nothing of his life with the first wife or if there were living descendants. Alex, our incredible researcher, found their names, and my brother Dave used Facebook to track them down. They too were invited to the Stolpersteine events.

It turns out there were three children of that earlier marriage, two of whom survived to adulthood, and one of whom married and had two children (born in 1948 and 1951) who would also be grandchildren of our grandfather. We met the widow of the oldest son (who died in 1981) and the second son himself, who is still living and is our half-first cousin. Between them, those two children had five children. We met three of those children, who are our half first-cousins once removed. One of them brought her 11-year-old daughter, our half first-cousin twice removed.

We got there a little early, nervously checking out every small group of people who came in. We had not seen photos of any of the relatives, and as far as we could tell, each person that entered could have been a cousin. When you don't know what you are looking for, you see similarities in every smile, every nose, every setting of the eyes.

While we waited, I admired this powerful metal relief that portrays Pforzheim's streets and buildings in the Cubist style.

The text in the lower right and left corners references the city's history.

23 February 1945: Destruction of the City

Leading in the Watch and Jewelry Industry since 1767

Finally they arrived, at least some of them! Two more would show up later. Even now as I look at this photo I feel very moved to think that these people are my flesh and blood. Although we literally live a world apart and speak different languages, we share significant genetics. Part of what makes us who we are is the same. 

Pia (our 11-year-old cousin twice removed), her mother Diana (cousin once removed), Timo (cousin once removed and brother of Diana), and Diana and Timo's father Roland (first cousin--our generation)

Our cousin Stephen (son of our mother's full brother)
with our new cousins

The city of Pforzheim held a reception in city hall for the families of those who were having Stolperstein installations on the day we were there. For the 22 stumbling stones planned for the day, there were not a lot of people. I would have to assume that  many of those killed by Hitler, especially Jews, died with their families.

I'm not sure who this man is who delivered a moving address in beautiful English. I don't believe he is the mayor, but rather some other city official.

Luckily, my brother-in-law recorded his entire speech. Here are some of the highlights:

• 22 Stolpersteine ("Stumbling Stones") were about to be installed on this day in Pforzheim, bringing to 422 the total number for the city. [Our grandfather's stone is #422. Alex had somehow gotten them to add it at the last minute.]
• Each stone represents a person who was disenfranchised, persecuted, deported, or murdered for being Jewish, Roma, mentally or physically handicapped, mentally ill, homosexual, a Jehovah's Witness, a forced laborer, a prisoner of war, or politically persecuted.
• The Stolpersteine give these people back their names, their life stories, and their dignity.
• The Stolpersteine take those people out of the anonymous bureaucratic numbering and remind us of their fate in the middle of our everyday lives.
• The Stolpersteine Initiative in Pforzheim arose from the commitment of individuals who have dedicated themselves to keeping the memory of the victims alive.
• On March 13, 2008, the first Stolpersteine were laid on the site of the synagogue [which was destroyed by the Nazis during Kristallnacht on November 10, 1938].
• The Stolpersteine Initiative is the largest decentralized work of art in Europe.
• There are 73,000 Stolpersteine in more than 1,000 locations throughout Germany and in 18 other European countries.
• The stones are not gravesites or memorials, but call to us to look, to ask questions, and to keep the memory of victims alive in our everyday lives.
• Mr. Mann was involved from the beginning and has tirelessly researched the stories of the victims. [He was our contact person for this ceremony and took us out to dinner that evening.]
• Your attendance shows that memories are alive and connect us across generations and borders.
• The Talmud says that a person is only forgotten when his or her name is forgotten. The Stolpersteine help us accomplish this mission of remembering names.

Hans Mann, the 85-year-old founder of the Pforzheim Stolpersteine Initiative, was also on hand and said a few words.

After the reception we posed for a family picture. Everyone in this photo is a relative!

A little later, we visited one of the archives where Alex discovered information about our mutual grandfather/great-grandfather/great-great-grandfather, and we also went to a street full of restaurants and outdoor seating where we could eat and talk (or try to). At some point, we took another family picutre, this time with our spouses.

Eventually we made our way to 34 Sophienstrasse, the site of the last known place our grandfather lived willingly, which is the criterion for the placement of a Stolperstein. Of course, the original apartment building he and his family lived in was leveled by bombs and burned in the ensuing fire on February 23, 1945, but the street remained and a new apartment building stands in place of the old one. I love that the intersecting street is "Karlstrasse," or "Karl's Street." Maybe that's one of the things that attracted Karl Frey and his family to this particular location.

The spot for the Stolperstein had been carved into the concrete, right in front of the building's mailboxes. I have to wonder what it is like for the residents to see that stone every time they come home or for the mailman every time he delivers the mail. Do they stop seeing it after a while, just as we all stop seeing what we don't want to see? Or do they stop to think and question and remember, as the stone is meant to inspire them to do? A little of both, probably.

As the designated time drew near, a crowd of neighbors gathered.

The Stolperstein was brought out, and my brother held it up for photos and for the crowd to see. It is an inscribed 10 cm x 10 cm brass plaque fixed to a concrete base.

It reads: Here lived Karl Gustav Frey, born 1891. Admitted in 1934 to the Wiesloch Sanatorium and then to Rastatt and Ziefalten; "transferred" May 29, 1940, to Grafeneck. Murdered May 29, 1940. Action T4.

Ack! The wrong date of death! It should be 21.5.1940. But the power of the words, especially for us, Karl Frey's descendants, remains despite the error. 

The Stolperstein project was started in 1992 by an artist from Cologne named Gunter Demnig. I found this when reading about him: He designed his Stolpersteine to bring back the names of Holocaust victims to where they had lived; in his opinion, existing memorials have failed to do that. "Once a year, some official lays a wreath, but the average citizen can avoid the site very easily,: he explains.

Another source notes that Demnig's first stone was laid in Cologne, exactly 50 years after Heinrich Himmler ordered the deportation of Sinti and Roma to extermination camps. . . . "When people see the terror started in their city, their neighborhood, maybe even in the house they are living in--it all becomes quite concrete," he explained.

From what I've read, it appears that Demnig works with local researchers, such as Hans Mann, to discover information on the victims, and he installs all the stones himself.  He was there at 34 Sophienstrasse, wearing what appears to be his uniform for these installations (hat, denim shirt and tan vest, knee pads) and using his rubber mallet to pound the stone into the spot that had been created for it. See him in the photo below next to Hans Mann. The scout in the green jacket read the biographical information about our grandfather before the stone was put in place. I have since learned that the scouts (identified by their the typical neckerchiefs) who were helping at the ceremony were the "Sponsors" of my grandfather's stone. I just thought they were being good scouts and helping out! Maybe they help care for the stones once they are laid? I think I heard that somewhere.

This is to you, Karl Gustav Frey--soldier, victim, husband-father-Opa.

What do you think, Mom? Does it take away some of the shame and fear you undoubtedly felt in 1940? We feel nothing but love and respect for what our grandfather--and you--must have gone through.

As I mentioned earlier, our grandfather's stone was #422 for the city of Pforzheim. I learned that on this website, which also includes a brief biography that was written by the people researching the victims. Here is the Google Translate's version of what is posted in German on the site:

Karl Gustav Frey, born September 29, 1891, in Loffenau. He was a soldier in the First World War and was severely wounded. His occupation is listed as customs agent, usually with the abbreviation "a.D." (retired). The after-effects of his war injury were possibly the reason why he was then "retired" and admitted to Wieslock several times after July 7, 1934. On March 11, 1937, he was transferred from Wiesloch to Rastatt. The approximately 580 patients in Rastatt were evacuated to Zwiefalten in September 1939. From there, Karl Gustav Frey was "transferred" to Grafeneck on May 29, 1940 and immediately murdered. He thus became a victim of "Action T4."

    Sponsor: Baptist Scouts Pforzheim, "Count von Zinsendorf" Troop.

The date of death is wrong in this bio (As noted earlier, he was murdered on May 21, not May 29), and if you go to the bouncing blue pin that shows his Stolperstein, the death date is given as May 22, also incorrect.

And here we all are one last time--members of the Frey family along with our honorary family member Alex, who brought us all together and opened the door to our past that had been so tightly locked, and with Gunter Demnig, whose artistic and moral vision provided the impetus for our journey to and union in Pforzheim.

L to R: Dave, Alex, Angie, Gudrun (wife of our cousin Herward, who died in 1981),
Alexander (son of Gudrun and Herward), Diana, Pia, Timo, Roland (face not seen),
Gunter Demnig, Stephen, Judy, Doris, Chris, Rick

After this last photo we said good-bye to our cousins, and a few blocks later we said good-bye to Alex. What a journey. Thank you, Alex. We think you know what this has meant for all of us.

On our long uphill walk to the car, I stopped at every Stolperstein. Each one starts with the words Hier Wohnte, "Here lived."

Left: These four members of the Maier family--Friedrich, Kathe, Ernst, and Gertrud--survived by fleeing or surviving internment.

Right: Two of the three Meier family members (Friedrich and Nelly) were murdered at Auschwitz. Their daughter Amalie lived in hiding and was liberated.

Left: The inscription says "Medical treatment refused" with a death date in 1939. I'm guessing that Leopold Kaufmann needed treatment but was not given it because he was Jewish, becoming an early victim of the Nazis. 

Right: Lina Weinberg died in Auschwitz in 1942.

These two (perhaps brothers?) died seven months apart. Max Baruch was arrested in 1939 and killed in 1940. Theodor was institutionalized in 1910 and murdered at Grafeneck four months after my grandfather.

The stones for the five members of the Peritz family tell an interesting story. The two I assume were the parents (David and Recha) and their second oldest daughter (Magarete) were murdered at Auschwitz, but two other daughters (Liese and Eleonore) "fled" to England in 1939 at ages 25 and 31 and apparently survived. Perhaps they were married and left with their husbands.

In the Braun family, parents Philipp and Martha and son Edgar were interned in various places but all eventually were murdered at Auschwitz. But their youngest daughter Rosalie was first deported to Gurs, a concentration camp on the French-Spanish border, but was "liberated" (escaped?) in 1941, hidden (by whom?), and survived. It appears that she and her mother were at Gurs at the same time. Why are their fates so different? So many questions. Somewhere out there are descendants of both those killed by the Nazis and those who lived. I wonder how many of them were here for the Stolperstein ceremony?

With my grandfather's Stolperstein, these are just 21 of the 422 stones in Pforzheim--about 5%. It's chilling. I think of the way Jews say "May his/her memory be a blessing" whenever they speak of the dead. At first, I wondered how that works with these tragedies. But I think seeing these names and getting a glimpse into their stories has been a blessing to me and hopefully to many others who stop to look, ask questions, and ponder. 

Our final event in Pforzheim was a wonderful dinner graciously provided by Hans Mann. He and I had emailed back and forth in the months preceding our trip, arranging the details of my family's participation in the Stolperstein ceremony, so we felt like we knew each other a little bit. He invited our group and everyone else who had come to town for the Stolpersteine ceremonies to join him for dinner at a local restaurant called Romulus & Remus. Apparently Marilyn Monroe ate here at least once.

I couldn't resist taking this picture of my brother eating his favorite food, and it was nice to get a picture with Herr Mann, who has spent a good part of the last 20 years volunteering with the Stolpersteine Initiative.